Sinking in love and in sorrow

There is me. Curled up in a ball and, Morrissey moans. I yearn for far away lovers touch while the only touch I can have is the cold hands of time reminding me every second of every hour that I am alone and that the one I need is gone. How Could Anyone Know How I Possibly Feel? Indeed, Morrissey. Indeed. Just. Shut up. I don't need you to bitch to me your woes. I do not need this. The Cure seem to sit this drama of a "just a phase" depression. The Figure Head. Something to sew together the shattered glass of the turth that I am sinking with my fanasty of being rescued; dreaming the thoughts only a little girl could dream again. A knight on a shining horse... only to see that the armor is tarished and the horse is made of sand. Not to say that this is me. No. I see no more knights or of the possibility of being rescused. I simply will have to make my own escape to get to him. The journey will be long and hard but worth it in the end I know. He knows. We both accept this. That I am blissful in, but now, this moment, I am not. My head burns with clouded thoughts of falling of the edge of the earth forever. Death. "It's just a phase. It's your choice to feel the way you do." I have been given this all before. Can't it be understood that this is something that I would like help on? Give me drugs for all I care just make my passion for the kiss of death go away! You can't see me now, for I have blended into the shadows once again. And I am slipping down the cool tile floor of this shower in vain for no one can see me. How I twist my body in want, almost begging, but no. I am not that low. These acts are not for everyone; just a someone. I am sinking in love and in sorrow. The love is something I do not mind, for it's something I've always wanted to feel. In this darkness, it makes me smile and feel warm. And to know I will feel the rush of it soon again makes me warmer still. But yet, my feet are cold and my head is clouded. Because it's "just a phase". A long phase then. "What's wrong with you?" If I knew I would tell you! I wake up feeling empty and gray. There is no reason why it just exsist but YOU certainly are not helping me swim. Nay, you're helping me drown, for lack of a better word. No. I won't kill myself for I have a few things to live for tonight and tomorrow and the tomorrows after that. I will feel whole soon as are figures are intwined and we can lay in almost no sounds, save, for a record to fit the mood. To fit the love that almost makes us burst into stars and dust. In that I am whole. In my books and music and pens and papers and inks I am whole. In this hotel room? I am not. I am broken. Robert Smith understands, or the lyrics do. So this is the night. Drowning in thoughts of love and the touch of sorrow.