beach

I felt like a little girl. When I died. It was white and I was on a. Beach. Cold and rocky and foggy. The Crow said don't look. And I didn't. I waited for birds wings. And I saw them. But I saw them on a man. He was clothed in all black. Gently, oh so gently, he lifted me out of my prison of flesh. He carried me to the beach. I was young. Ageless. And in my mind beautiful. It was how I looked on my wedding day. White dress with a black band around my waist and no shoes. He, the angel of death, set me down. I took it all in; the rushing water, the sand in my toes, the rainy sky. I had a handful of purple flowers. I saw deaths messenger on the rocks. Just sitting starring out into the abyss. I knew instantly who it was. "Ian..." he turned around. My voice sounded like a small child. I held out violets. And he shook his head and sighed. "They don't help you here." He said. "They're for you." "I don't need them." I sat next to him. Close. Too close maybe as he jolted slightly, causing the black feathers to ruffle. "I..um.." I looked him in the face. "I love you." Ian sighed deeply. It was useless but at the same time relief. I felt tears well up in my eyes. But I expected it all damn it. I touched his silver face. He didn't wince, but looked down at me with big eyes as blue as the ocean. It was his sea of lonliness. And I can't save him. He dosnt want to be saved. He kissed the top of my forehead, and hugged me, nay, held me. I cried so hard. I cried for days and days pleading don't go. He pulled away from me when he felt my body, or, my spirit. Weaken. His fingers danced in my hair. "I don't know if I care." He said. I nodded. How I longed to be in the safety of the fold of his wings and the beating of his heart I can still hear. He kissed my lips softly. "Go away now." He said. "But..." "GO." He was final and I didn't argue. As I walked away I looked back and saw him fly off, to collect another soul perhaps, to take to the endless beach.

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