History

I've been waiting about sixteen years to write this post. Here we go.

I was born in 1994 in a hopsital. Hospital is the place where people go to be born, get better, get sick and die. Not all in one day. Well, actually, that can happen in one day... if you let it. That almost happen to me. But I didn't want to go. I had life to do. And so I went.

It's somewhere around 2007. I am twelve. My parents no longer live in the same house and my grandfather is dead, again, in the hospital. This time I am a vistor, not a paient. Although, at the time I wondered if I should be... and my gradad could watch me laying there. But no. He wouldn't want that.

Now it's about 2010. And Teagan, my first real girlfriend/bestfriend now just bestfriend have gone to see Howl. A movie about Allen Ginsburg. I wore a dress shirt and dress pants. I wanted to be a man. We walked up to the girls bathroom because it was empty so we could kiss in front of a mirror just to see what it looked like. Across the street from the theater is where I fell down in the middle of the road and she helped me up. We laughed a lot and we still do. At one point in time when we both smoked we shared the same cigarette and I pretended I was french and I told her sexy things, because she made me feel that way. Then she spent the night at my house and I held her close and she called me Dorian. Because that's what I wanted to be called. Dorian. She was the best girlfriend I ever had.

We broke up. Then together. Then broke up. It's alright. Don't cry.

Now it's 2011 and it's June 9th. School is out and I am done with freshman year. My head's pounding and I feel sick because I tell the older man, older by two years AND going into senior year is a big thing apparently for highschool girls to want... I never understood, that I like him. He laughs for the longest time then admist, taken slightly back that he likes me, too. We're currently in love and I have a date tommorow.

Look outside and you'll see what the sun looks like in 2011. Or the moon. Or the rain. Or whatever.